Musings of a Quasi-Philosopher

Disclaimer: The cultural things mentioned in this post are my own general observations, and do not in any way reflect the culture of whole of the US or India. Neither do these statements stand for each and every person in the US or India: they are just widespread common characteristics that I have observed. There are several important people (both American and Indian) in my life who are very different from the stereotypical American or the stereotypical Indian that might emerge from this post. On a lighter note and mathematically speaking, I am giving you averages of a probability distribution whose standard deviation is really large.

It may seem odd that those 20 minutes every morning could turn out to be the source of so much nostalgia. Each day started at 8:10 sharp with the old voice of Mr. Wilmur rumbling out "School Att`ae'ntion", and the almost spontaneous outcry by all the students, "Good Morning Sirs Good Morning Teachers". Then a morning hymn with music and choir, that varied from day to day, followed by the two school prayers being recited by the entire school after a leader (who was a student, a different one each day). Then came the time for a teacher to say a short story, anecdote, quote, just about anything that conveyed a moral or behavioral message. Emphasis was laid on inculcating those pure, altruistic values that I am more than proud to be exposed to them at the young age by family, school and neighborhood. Then came the forceful, a statesman like speech by the Principal, Mr. Harold Carver, a British national, but who has nothing British left in him except probably his passport and accent. He was a forceful speaker and I must say that I have never seen a better speaker than him all my life: yes, none of the present world leaders I know, not even Obama, come close to the emotion and power contained in his words and oration. He used to say stories, poems, anecdotes that always followed the theme of inculcating positive values in life and becoming good citizens. Respecting parents, honesty, hard work... and I could go on with the list.

It was an atmosphere of care, and love that we grew up in. We made such strong bonds with the school and the teachers that I made it a point to visit the school, the teachers and the Principal whenever I was in Chandigarh. Now it has been six months in the US and I have lost touch. I remember the last time I was there: August 13, a day before my departure to Delhi to catch the British Airways flight to London, connecting to Boston. I had gone there a day before, but the office was crowded since Abhinav Bindra, an alum, had won a Gold Medal in the Olympics for India in the 10m air-rifle shooting event. It was the first ever individual Gold Medal for India, and the first Gold Medal since the 1980 Moscow hockey Gold. So there were a lot of media-persons and cameras and so I returned after exchanging greetings.

Even most of my close friends are from St. Stephen's. Here, in the US, I feel deprived of that atmosphere, those emotions, that love, those deep connections with friends, institution, teachers and the Principal.

I was an uncomfortable star in the school. I had got 96.8 percent marks in the 2004 National School exams at the 10th grade level. Whenever I visited the Principal's office as an alum, students eyes used to turn on me, giving me uncomfortable glances, and students nudging to each other, half-pointing with their fingers "O wow... do you know, that guy over there is Raghu Mahajan". Then that nudging and whispering increased tenfold after I secured the top spot in the Joint Entrance Exam to the IIT's in 2006, and my degree of discomfort also increased. I never liked students probing me for pointers on how to prepare for that exam and stuff. No one approached me as a friend, everyone was awed by my academic achievements. That is why I felt scared by my reputation among high school students. This is where the US takes the cake. More emphasis is laid more on character building, rather than superlative academic achievements. People explore their likes and dislikes at early ages, doing various activities, taking part in more social events. In India, people look up to the "stars", just wishing to be there, without realizing the joy and exhilaration in the activity itself. This is why I think students in the IIT's lack motivation to do stuff, because they do not know what their passions are. They have been exhausted running the race to the pole position in academics and exams and lured by "better" things in life - the most dominant cause being pornographic content on computer networks.

In 2008, I transferred to MIT from IIT Delhi. Of course, academically it was a sound decision. And I am totally happy to have left the dirt and nonsense that is IIT Delhi academics and student attitude. But that has come with a compromise on my social life. I especially miss the cultural tit-bits that so set apart the east from the west.

For example, here at MIT, suppose you are walking with someone. People will only go with you to the point that your paths are common, even though you have to take a short detour for an important small task, and there is no time crunch. The joy of being together, in a company, is so missing here. Connections are so shallow. People here are so strongly individualistic, have strongly defined likes and dislikes and do not budge from them. They don't have any qualms about being not dependent on anyone. Suppose you are planning a trip with people whom you do not know that well, lets say hostel-mates with whom you have been living for a month. Here people will refuse if they don't like the place suggested, willing to go alone to a place they like, whereas the dominant attitude in India would be to go with the company of friends, even though you may have to sacrifice some pleasure that you get out of visiting the place. I think that is more than compensated by the joy that one gets out of being with friends or family. Relationships of all sorts here are at a shallow level, or if they are deep they take a long time to become deep. That feeling of being immersed in that vast ocean of love, of care, of respect, of that ultimate Ideal is simply missing. Everybody seeks success and pleasure, without stopping to think of the deep emotions in life.

I discussed two factors in this post: professional competence and emotional depths of relationships in life. Are these two factors interconnected? Does being overly professional and desire to be successful make you incapable of experiencing and being sensitive to deep emotion? Does being overly emotional harbor tendencies of favoritism, corruption and make people incapable of making competent decisions?

I do not know the answer. Anyone ?